Regret, reflection, suggestion

I should be working. I should be organizing. I should at least be making a list. I'll get there, really. Tonight might be one of those rare nights I succeed in not sleeping. Maybe. At least, I feel good now. Anyway, let me get this out of my head first. It will be at least one thing actually done.

In the chaos that we call "school" right now, there is very little that feels under control. It's somehow soothing to look back and try to come up with ways I'm going to fix this next year.

Some ideas have been slowly coagulating from the fragmented soup of thoughts currently stewing where I can't turn them off....sooo...another bunch of regrets, reflection, suggestion

1) A little at time. When I started teaching, I picked up an after school activity for every day except Saturday, and only because we often had to be in class on Saturdays. It wasn't worth it. My kids didn't get as much out of me because I burned out on it after a few months, the kids started to loose interest, I didn't really feel like I knew what I was doing with any of the activities (ACT preparation, Creative Expression Group, Journalism). I do wish that I had coached. I think its better to get yourself organized, get on your feet first, set up a schedule for getting (at least most of your) work done, then try channeling your frustrations at all the broken things by choosing one program to start with that your kids might like, or one activity you could supervise, and go from there. At the same time, something like coaching can burn you out by itself from what I've heard, but be very worth it.

On a side note, I'd really like to teach AP Biology next year, but wonder if I am prepared to do it justice, even if I spend the whole summer planning. One quarter of the time is supposed to be in lab, and we don't have any of the necessary resources, except some microscpes (which is something), and right now it looks like I will also have two other preps. Two school-assigned preps is an improvement over this year, and I'm wondering if it's stupid to try a third, again. My classmates/roommates/support group say "your crazy, don't do it". We're all mentally exhausted right now, though. Also, I need a long and detailed syllabus explaining how I will meet the AP requirements, I need to petition the college board to get the class registered, I need to get kids to sign up and get the counselor to rearrange the schedule, which is supposedly in progress, at least, I need to find out where the money will come from for these materials, I should probably take a training course but I selfishly don't want to sacrifice a week of summer that will probably be full of planning anyway. (I'm hoping that they don't change my classes on me at the last minute, because I want the planning to do some good. I'm wondering if I should ask them to sign something saying that I will only teach what they have told me I will be teaching before I sign a contract, if they are going to offer me one one of these days)

2) All of those times that everyone said take a break at the beginning of the year, I really should have listened. It does not pay off to pretend your OK so you can pretend to be competent when you're actually falling apart at the seams. Being honest with yourself and taking a day or two to get your act together, even by disengaging from work for a while, in hindsight seems like a good idea.

3) Life is easier when you're organized, obviously. I didn't realize how fast organization can fall apart as a teacher if you don't come up with a very good system for maintaining it, and then maintain it. Stuff to keep track of includes: attendance, student behavior (for documentation purposes), interactions with administration (which I wish I had tracked so I had evidence of what they said about what and when, because it would have kept my stress level lower since I could point out, if ever pressed, that I was following instructions), items loaned to other teachers, money spent on school supplies for tax purposes, textbooks given out, phone numbers and parent contact, grades of course (gradekeeper is great and only $20 for as many computers as you have, and also available on the internet), student folders, lots of other stuff I'm forgetting.
I am going to spend some time setting up new systems for dealing with all of this next year. Hopefully before I even leave for July.

Which brings me to something else. A suggested topic was what to do with summer. Here's another list, but these are only my ideas and I will not pretend to know what the best use of anyone's time is- this is what I'm planning on doing (except a little bit focused toward first years; it just happened, since I think first years read more blogs).

1) Set up a system for organizing. Think about how to keep track of all that information. Buy gradekeeper, or some other program. Buy small boxes meant for organizing index cards or some other method to keep track of phone numbers. Buy manilla folders and maybe one or two file boxes in case there's no personal filing cabinet (or lockable classroom) at school. (Okay, this is for me, but whatever works for you.)
2) Steal materials from other people, especially second years. Maybe even ask someone to e-mail their lesson plans as they write them, if they write full lesson plans. I think lots of us will be doing more of that this summer, actually, since we should hopefully have more time to think things through and will know more of what to expect.
3) Lesson plan. Even though (first year) summer feels crammed and is full of adjusting, as much as I didn't feel like extra planning on top of everything else this summer,that was multiplied by about a thousand for the school year. Actually, if you know what classes you will teach, I think just mapping out concepts on a calendar so you know what you need to cover when and in what order is really helpful. If you don't know how to do it, taking someone's recommendation for a good textbook and using that to plan is helpful for me.
4) Friendships begun over the summer ended up being really important to a lot of us, I think. Having a support group behind you makes it so much easier.

Oh my. Grading. Test-writing. Lists.