Three weeks before the end of the two years, I step out of the house in Leland into the night, and it's all lavender and lightning. The combination cuts beautifully through my haze of questions and doubts. Near the end of a personal era, for lack of better terminology- it feels so wrong to call this a phase because it has had such impact on my character and my plans- every sensation is stronger, and living is somehow ultra-nuanced. Maybe I just hold on.

If there was one sweet moment this year, it was this:

Before the Biology I state test, I invited all of my students to my room for sugary breakfast foods and last minute tutoring, from 7:00 am until testing began. I did not have the turn-out I would have liked. About 25 of my best students came, but I am told that others were turned away by administration before they made it to my room. (Despite arrangements to prevent this situation.) I fired questions at them for a while, and answered their last minute queries. When the bell rang for them to go to testing, the room erupted into applause, and I don't think they were kidding. I didn't really feel much joy or relief the day of testing, or even much afterwards- we don't, after all, have the results. But if there was a moment of slight release, that was it.