It is going to be so hard to leave, just when I am beginning to discover what is really here. I was so proud of them tonight, and I finally felt really, really connected to this place. At the same time, it made me even more upset with myself for everything that I am not doing right and everything I have let slide, as I watch those same kids shine, and hate myself for every way I fail them.

I wonder if he'll ever get to college and graduate, I wonder if anyone else will ever see how talented he is, and let him build up his strengths like he should (and why didn't I make it happen...could I still?)...I wonder if she is safe at home, I wonder if they'll graduate, I wonder if anything I do will change anything at all for the better, I wonder how many of them will be alright. I wish I could tell the world and chance and mistakes and fate to keep their hands off of my kids.

So there is sweat and there are babies in the arms of babies, gold chain nike signs and a battle for pride. There is blood at the tips of our fingers, a cloud of anger and the hurt honesty so rarely breaks through. There are two-hundred dollar shoes while begging for change, there are disconnects in logical progress and a wall that seems un-scalable.
But my God, if there isn’t a flame; If there isn’t a fire in those fingertips, a power behind those eyes, a ferocious will and a beauty that is beyond anything I have ever been.