There always seem to be lots of good ideas when we are far too busy to use them, when instinct dictates that we take every "spare" minute to breathe and maintain sanity. The more chaotic life gets, the more places you have to be and things you have to do, the more inspiring input. If there is no output, it's almost like getting clogged. Your brain gets full of too much stuff and you wish you had another day or a week or a year to sort through it all and use the important stuff in productive ways. Anybody know what I mean?

Usually my response to this particular situation is to bring a little notebook with me everywhere and write down every idea, every thought, every item on my to-do-list. The problem being, of course, the exhaustion that prevails once the adrenaline rush of initial inspiration has worn off and you've come home and sat down to begin working. And despite the fact that (yes, I know its ineffective) I tell myself that I will stay up all night every night, I usually end up passing out on a bean bag or some soft things on the floor before I've done more than an hour or two worth of stuff.

There is definitely inspiration.
I still can't shake the feeling that I am dropping every ball. I also feel like I'm juggling in the dark and I can't really tell if this is anything like how its supposed to be or not. I'm guessing no.

For example....
My lesson on DNA structure, function, and replication- a lesson I thought was effective- was followed by a test that all my students failed. It required thinking and problem solving. I explained how to solve the problems, and will reintroduce the same kinds of questions again on the nine weeks exam after we review the material. But there's got to be a better way to do it.

So for the next section on transcription and translation, before giving my students any notes or explanations (though after they had an extensive homework assignment on this chapter), I split up the class into pairs, gave each pair a table or figure from the chapter (since these usually highlight the most important concepts), and made them responsible for summarizing it, describing it in their own words, coming up with a picture (which could be some part of the table or figure) to describe it, and presenting it to the class. The description in their own words, and the presentation are together worth a quiz grade. Each partner must speak. I assigned a warm-up requiring students to copy down all the table and figure titles with 1/3 page space underneath each. While their classmates are setting up to present and while they are presenting, each student is supposed to be taking notes on the presentations and filling in missed details from the table or figure in the book. These notes area also worth a quiz grade. Finally, I am going to give a quiz, without first teaching the material, on the information the students have presented to each other. They are responsible for teaching each other the information and they are accountable to their classmates.

I have no idea if this is a good idea or not. I have no idea if this is actually a waste of class time. It definitely takes some time for the presentations and preparation.

Lots of other big and small stuff but I won't get into everything.

So in other news. Our secretary gave me a message that a parent want to speak with me. I of course got nervous and worried all day until the 3:00 meeting. When I finally met this particular grandmother, I was blown away by her warmth, her strength, her character. She told me stories and shared her thoughts about our student's lives and abilities and needs. We discussed her concern too, of course, but it branched out from there. I don't think I can really explain why I was so affected by this meeting, but there is something about meeting and learning about a student's family, a student who you believe does not like you, that offers insight into their softer side, the person they are when they are not in your classroom, and even when they are.

One last comment on another completely unrelated strand. Our last speaker mentioned that he recognizes our situation as a difficult one in which we are offered very little support. My reaction was...except teacher corps. This would be a thousand times harder if it were not for that. I just thought it deserved acknowledgment.

All this as I guiltily calculate the days before spring break and dread Monday morning because of all of the stuff I will not have gotten done by then...though a little before 11:00 am I am optimistic, just beginning to feel the panic....

String beans and race cars

Lately I have been having the sort of days that make me not want to leave the Delta. Granted, no day is flawless, but I have at least been feeling like there is progress. Wong was right when he said that you are the most important factor in your classroom. Oddly enough, the less I try, the better it works. The days that I take my job less seriously, that I scold less and smile more, the days that I relax and get into it and act crazy and don’t care- these are the days that are the smoothest. Administration’s rules and my own ideas about classroom management convinced me that I had to be hard with my kids. In practice, I have found that being human is more effective.

I think that part of the allure of this place, of this job, is that every little spark, every smile, every correct answer and sometimes the subsequent celebratory (spell check says it’s not a word, I say it lies) antics, shines as a victory in a constant, tiresome battle. When something good happens, it makes you think that you just might could win (yeah, I said it). When I see my kids genuinely happy, I want to stick it in a bottle and label it and put in on a shelf where it will be safe forever.

Today was the sort of day that makes you feel like you never belonged here in the first place. First I was angry at the kids. Then I was angry at myself for not fixing it. Whether you have a good day or a bad one, Wong is still right- you are the most important factor in your classroom.

Something else- while I am completely aware of how important sleep is, every now and then I convince myself that I really don’t need it and actually manage to follow through. Then, of course, I remember why that was a bad idea. You can stay up and prepare for hours, have the best planned lesson you’ve ever taught, but if you can’t be flexible and think on your feet, it’s all over.

I guess it just feels like such a waste when you loose time or attention with a poorly managed situation. Those things are scarce enough already, especially with our kids.

So at this point I’m embarrassed to admit it, but there are still a thousand details I haven’t worked out and a thousand questions that I have about the best way to handle situations. Here are a couple of examples (please....PLEASE, tell me what you think- even if its stuff I’m sure I can work out on my own, it might help to have another opinion)



So you’re supposed to enforce your consequences exactly the same for every student, and if you don’t students say you’re playing favorites, and administration could get on your case about it- which, if they hear it from a student, they will. But. With some kids, the most effective action to take would be....let it go. Yes, cursing is against school policy. Every student who curses is supposed to be written up. And with some students that works, sort of. With others (the ones who really don’t care about being written up, who are at highest risk for dropping out of school), you loose all respect and credibility, and they turn off to your lessons.

I give essay tests in biology, and most of my students answer with a sentence, at most. I don’t want to fail them all- instinctively that doesn’t seem quite right, and would definitely get my administration on my case, but I also don’t want to lower my expectations and give them other work to make up for low test scores, which is what I have been doing. I have tried summarize short passages about biology with them in class to work on their writing skills, and I have also
tried writing example essays with them in class. Some of them will work really hard on in-class essays, if I am able to spend time with them one-on-one, and help explain the question. Any suggestions?

I had a list of things that I wanted to post about, but, frustratingly, I don’t remember most of them right now. One final comment...we spend so much time dealing with the bad stuff, but the beuty (my spelling) is usually surprising and powerful.